So we start with Genesis 1, which tells the story of how God made this world come into existence. The five most important things I learned from this chapter:

1. God created. Some of you are thinking, “Yes! We get to hear Kai’s wisdom about how he thinks God created the world.” Well, I am glad to share that with you: I don’t know. I have no idea, and I don’t care to ask until I get to heaven. We were not meant to know how God created the earth (I believe the topic can be answered by Romans 11:33-36, just like Job’s deep questions could be), and if we approach this chapter trying to figure that out, then we miss out on a ton of truths that are more significant and more substantial than that.

   So today, rejoice with me and be in awe of God with me over this fact: God created the earth from nothing.Have you ever tried to bake a cake from nothing? I’m not talking about from scratch… I’m talking about from nothing. Of course, it’s impossible. It’s absolutely incredible to me that God was able to make an entire universe out of nothing. There was no source, no blueprint, no instructions, no store to buy supplies from; God wasthe source, the architect, the artist, the creator. Our universe is so unbelievably complex in every sense, and I am in awe of a God who is simply able to create that.

   Next time you enjoy creation, let it sing to you about the power, greatness, and love of God. (“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” – Romans 1:20)

2. God created us in His image. Man is the crown jewel and final piece of God’s creation. Why? Because He made us in His image and likeness. From the very moment we began growing we had the image of God in us. Let this truth encourage you today! If you are feeling discouraged, incapable, or not good enough, remember that you were modeled after the same God who created our vast universe. Your potential to grow, learn, love, be creative, find peace and make an impact for His Kingdom is incredible!

   Also, let this truth encourage you because every person you meet today is also made in the image and likeness of God. No matter how their past has formed their present, they have the same incredible redemptive qualities you do (even if they are buried pretty deep) because they are made in God’s image. Every person has the potential to love, serve, make an impact, put others before themselves, etc. because they were made in the image of God. Even if the potential has been diminished significantly, no person is beyond hope of ever coming to that point.

3. God rested after completing what he started. (Technically this is Genesis 2:1-3, but who’s counting?) This truth was a big encouragement to me because I am not living a balanced life right now. In order to keep up all my responsibilities, I have too often taken away time for resting and replenishing. Even though Jesus would later say that the Sabbath is made for man (Mark 2:27), it’s good to know that God used – and, in fact, created – that time too. In the age we live in, observing a Sabbath is harder than ever, because there’s always something else to do. But the more we pour ourselves out into our work, families, and the Kingdom, the more we need this time. A little bit of rest (and a little bit of God during that rest) will go a long way.
4. There is evidence that the Trinity has existed since the beginning of time. In the beginning, God created (1:1). The Word, Jesus, was with God in the beginning (John 1:1). The Spirit of God was hovering over the waters (1:2). You’ve probably heard those. But I missed this one – “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (1:26). It’s not just a singular God, but a plural – Father, Son, and Spirit, three in one. The Trinity is a concept I’ll never understand, but it supports the validity of that concept (to me, anyway) when I see that all three persons have existed eternally.
5. Be fruitful. What’s the first thing that God did after he created man? He blessed them and said to them, “Be frutiful and multiply and fill the earth.” God’s identity, characters, and desires have been consistent since the beginning of creation. He wanted man – he created man – to be fruitful and enjoy the fullness of life. What a loving Father! It encourages me to know that God wants that for my life and for yours as well. I want to make that happen even more than it is now and I know that starts with praising Him as creator and putting Him at the center.

My favorite part about this property are the silos. They are the only preexisting structure on the property (although apparently it used to be a part of an airport runway for farmers?). This summer we had Visioneering Studios come out and work with us on designing a master plan for this property. And, what do you know? They found a way to incorporate the silos into the master plan!

As we roamed around the property, I walked up to one of the silos, and it was so cool inside. There are vines covering the outside of the structure and a tree growing inside it; there was even a fire pit people had used somewhat recently. Then I looked up, and the ladder to the top was in great condition, so I climbed it!

Do you see me? The views up there were pretty sweet (I could see Manhattan hill)! This was a fun way to spend my Monday morning at work.

Anyway, let’s start out this post by posting a picture of Lauren, just in case you haven’t seen her yet. (I don’t think I’ve mentioned her on the blog yet!) Before I post this picture, a disclaimer: please alert someone near you to make sure you don’t pass out after seeing the picture. She is really beautiful!

Are you still there? Good! Now, back to the topic at hand: worship leading dyslexia. I find that I have a mild, non-clinical problem with being dyslexic many times in life; however, the highest incidents of dyslexia per capita occurs when I lead worship. Since I’ve been at Crestview, I’ve been famous for saying things like:

• “We’re glad you came to worship us today.”
• “O death, where is your sting? O church, where is your victory?” (It is supposed to be hell instead of church.)
• “We are able to worship God freely and without confidence” instead of “consequence”
• “Turn to your neighbor and wish them a Sunday morning.”
• “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (Just kidding, I meant to jokingly say that.)

Now I can add another saying to the list. On Sunday we did a special called “Remembrance” while the communion trays were passed. During sound check, one of the ladies at church told me I needed to enunciate the words to the bridge so it did not sound like I switched them around. I did great for the morning services, but when the evening service came, I saw her sitting in the seats and her words immediately came to mind. All I could think was, “Don’t mess up!” But of course, I did.

What was supposed to be sung = “Dying you destroyed our death, rising you restored our life.”

What I sung = “Dying you restored our death, rising you restored our life.”

Then I did the same thing on the repeat. Yikes!

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“To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?

Having the chance to talk to one million people would be an amazing opportunity to talk about the truth that has changed my life and do the same for you. Jesus’ sacrifice brings me forgiveness, hope, and purpose, and I wish everyone would take his words seriously as they decide who they’ll live for in this life.

So in other words, what I talk about would be a no-brainer; it’s how I say it that would be tough. If one million people were listening to me, it would probably be on TV. That would mean I couldn’t take any longer than five minutes, which is a challenge. And there are people in so many different life situations, which is hard, but God is already working in all of their lives, which is good. Assuming that these people have chosen to listen to me, here’s what I would tell them:

Take a minute to look at your life. You have some things that have gone well, and there are some things you haven’t. Odds are, you’re very aware of the shortcomings and negative circumstances right now. Consider your life and ask yourself the questions, “Is my life perfect? What needs to change in order to make that happen?”

None of us would claim to have a perfect life, even if we were happy with ours. And maybe you could come up with a long list of things to change. But the thing that I’ve figured out in life is that the list never goes away. If we fix one thing, something else will come up, and we’ll never be completely satisfied in our attempts to make life perfect. We can’t do this on our own; it is an impossible pursuit.

But here’s what you need to know: that’s okay. There is someone out there who knows you and loves you in spite of your shortcomings. There is someone out there who give you hope, purpose, and new life for today and tomorrow. There is someone out there who can provide direction for your life. And I can tell you from personal experience, it is so much more freeing to be given direction and motivation to live from him than to try and make a name for yourself on your own.

I believe in a God who can be all of those things to each person on this earth, including you. The only thing you have to do is seek Him out.

(My fifteen minutes is up, but this is what I would say, besides a personal story and more information about what Christ has done for us. I know this wouldn’t reach every single person, but I hope it would impact many!)

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There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

Wait a second… I was in college five years ago? High school is that far away? Wow.

Five years ago I was in the middle of the most interesting summer of my life. Don’t get me wrong, every summer was interesting, but this one took the cake. Phillipsburg, KS had to deal with me that summer; I was at a church of 125 interning under the Senior Pastor. (I could write pages about my time there, but that dodges the question.)

FIVE YEARS AGO: JUNE 9, 2006
My goodness, I had an incredible work ethic. It wasn’t that I was significantly more productive than I am now; it’s that when I set my mind to it, I worked hard, cared deeply, and put everything into the task. It had not yet occurred to me that I could half-Balaam’s donkey something and have it be acceptable to the person; I just assumed that everyone had really high expectations. I would congratulate myself for that type of work ethic and tell myself that I should not be following anyone’s example in that department. (Unfortunately, the average MCC student work ethic rubbed off on me a little bit, but there’s still a big part of that which remains today. If I had my drive from 5 years ago + my small but growing amount of experience now, it would be awesome.)

I would also tell myself to take more risks. There’s no doubt that I have taken some since 2006, but I also missed out on some. At this point, not enough people told me that failure was OK because it spurs growth, and fear of failure played a role in some of my decisions.

FIVE YEARS FROM NOW: JUNE 9, 2016
Hello, Kai. How is your hovercar doing? How can you afford that on a preacher’s salary? Oh wait, you’re in the MLB now? Awesome! (Just kidding.)

I have no idea what I’ll be doing in five years. Hopefully, as the previous entry addresses, I’ll be a part of a church plant somewhere. My life will undoubtedly be filled with lots of things to do, both as part of the plant and in life. So my encouragement to my future self = under no circumstances should you sacrifice your disciplines or priorities… and you better have a firmer grasp on them than you do now. Don’t be stupid. Just seek His kingdom first, and everything else will be taken care of! Spend time in the Word and in prayer. Be a reader, consistently exercise, continue to put others before yourself.

Be the most active pastor in your town. Grow a reputation for meeting people where they are. Value the time you invest in others. Help them achieve the potential they have as a Spirit-filled and Christ-led person. Go back and read “Exponential” and be encouraged to help the people you mentor develop leaders of their own.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 is a verse I read this week that says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Hide that verse in your heart!

And if you are married by then, I hope you did not pass out at the wedding, and keep chasing after your wife! (I learned that advice from a friend of mine.)

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The idea of “being realistic” holds all of us back. From starting a business or quitting a job to dating someone who may not be our type or moving to a new place – getting “real” often means putting your dreams on hold.

Today, let’s take a step away from rational thought and dare to be bold. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to accomplish but have been afraid to pursue? Write it down. Also write down the obstacles in your way of reaching your goal. Finally, write down a tangible plan to overcome each obstacle.

This question frustrates me because I can think of a few different answers, and then think about what is holding me back from those, and give up from answering the question.

The first thought I had was that I don’t want to accomplish anything on my own. That’s where the question-asker and I have different worldviews that come into play. Anything worth accomplishing is not something that I do on my own, but with Christ in me.

So I thought about a church plant. It’s one thing that I would love to do; I’ve written about it in the past. Lately I’ve had doubts about being able to do that.

• Am I the type of leader that’s needed to plant a church? (I just took a personality test, and my traditional leadership tendencies have changed. Is it even possible for that to fade? Or was it not a dominant gift in the first place but because of the path I chose, I forced it into action? Now that I typed that out, the latter question seems ridiculous and false.)
• Would I be able to relate to people that are far from God, and would they respect me? (Would I be able to step out enough to take the risk on some of those interactions?)
• Would I know the things that need to be known?
• Would I have the financial discipline to lead myself/my family/church through that kind of venture?
• Why am I not pursuing the goal I set out for myself last fall? (One reason – it’s hard to pursue this and do your current non-church planting ministry excellently at the same time.)

Too many questions and not a lot of answers at this time, but the number one thing I need to do is shut up and trust God… because if planting a church is in His will, then all of those doubts are irrelevant. Still, I do need to make sure I’m growing personally and as a shepherd as I serve in my current ministry role.

Anyway, I came up with a simpler goal of something I want to accomplish: to lead someone to Christ. I have baptized people and I have helped people grow, but I have never helped someone through the whole process. What’s keeping me from doing this? Well, to be honest…

…it’s not knowing anybody in Manhattan who isn’t a Christian. I know how horrible that is. I’ve told myself multiple times this year that I need to find some type of secular organization to get involved in (like a photography or music group or something similar) so I can start to build relationships with people who are far from God. I think that if I built a friendship with someone, it wouldn’t be too hard for me to share Christ with him; I just have to get to that point first.

So all that goes to say, once I publish this post I am researching community organizations to get involved in – and actually doing something about it this time. Do you have any ideas? I would love to hear them.

P.S. Excuse the extreme stream-of-consciousness style of this post.

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Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

Well, I would not be unpacking and getting settled into my apartment… that’s for sure.

My sole priority would be helping draw people nearer to God. That means that I would tell as many people as I could about Jesus before my time went up. For those of my friends who do know Jesus (which is too high of a percentage – that’s an indictment on me, though; not my friends) I would leave them with encouragement that would help build them up. Usually I don’t speak my mind, but I would in this case and hope that they would take my thoughts well.

As for those who don’t know Jesus, I would focus on talking about Him with people I already know – friends and family. Unfortunately, I haven’t talked to a lot of those people in awhile, so there wouldn’t be a lot of room to small talk. I would fly to Denver and try to meet up with some high school friends. While there, I would want to get a sense of where some of my family stands in their faith. Then I would go to England and do the same thing. They wouldn’t be easy conversations and they might not listen (especially for my family in England), but I couldn’t leave this place without talking to them about Jesus.

Even if I have more than a week to live, I need to be more intentional about my conversations with people. If I’m talking to someone who knows Christ, then I need to encourage that person in their walk. And if not, I need to stop shying away from the topic in order to avoid conflict/rejection/hard feelings/etc. Paul writes passionately in 1 Thessalonians about how important it was for him to see that church come to Christ and grow in their faith. I need to adopt that same passion (plus some urgency) in my life.
Note: I don’t agree with Emerson’s statement but I like intent of the questions that came from it. Preparation with a purpose/goal in mind is one of the most important things you can do in life.

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“If we live truly, we shall see truly.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

Greenland – the country with the most ironic name, because it’s usually more white than green.

In terms of travel, visiting places that are ‘off the beaten path’ and experiencing things that few people will get to experience has always been appealing to me. Greenland is definitely one of those places. It is way away from the center of global life; I feel like I am approaching the edge of the planet when I imagine myself there. The population of the territory (country?) is under 25,000 people, and that is a telling sign as to how many people have seen it.

Being in a unique and under-appreciated place is great, but there’s something else too – being able to be so far removed from the hustle and bustle of city life. Oftentimes I feel a little closer to God in nature, and I know that would be the case in Greenland too. I want to see the northern lights and a million constellations… I want to spend a summer night out where the sun doesn’t set… I’d like to stay with a family for a week to understand what life is like there. (Maybe they need a church plant?) It would be awesome to go hiking or climbing on glaciers and maybe even have a sled dog ride. All of the activities sound interesting to me.

How will I make sure I get there? I’d like to save up $7,500 and 2 weeks vacation for this trip, and I’d like to go before I get too old; I’ll make it my goal to visit there in the next 15 years. (If God puts something better in my path before that time comes, then I will joyfully take the diversion!)

p.s. It’s hard to pick just one place.

Some background info about this entry: I had been dealing with some heart palpitations that had flared up and were freaking me out, but the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong. As much as I was glad there was nothing wrong, I hated not being able to understand why they started in the first place, and I wanted there to be a way to fix it. Of course, I ended up having to man up and learn to deal with it. This day was the turning point in my own life in coming to terms with that. Here’s the entry:

Yesterday, I had a breakdown. We were coming back from our attempt to get my blood drawn (too busy), and I was really discouraged from all this heart stuff. Instead of answers from the cardiologist, he wanted more data, so I’m back to wearing a heart monitor and collecting more info. He said he wants me to understand what’s normal… i.e. I might have to learn to deal with it.

Mom was telling me the same thing, and out of all the things I want to be told, that’s the last ting I wanted to hear. I started to cry. And when she pulled in the driveway, she hugged me and started to cry too and said, “I Love you and I don’t know why this is happening, but we’re going to get through this. My heart is breaking for you and I would give anything for you to not have to go through this, but I can’t.”

I just have to think more positively. With God’s help, we can get through this. I’ll remember mom’s words for a long time.

P.S. Please don’t call me a pansy for crying…

Today’s morning prayer, not surprisingly, includes material from St. Patrick. I don’t know very much about him, so I was glad they included some biographical information int the book. He was from Britain, but was kidnapped and taken to Ireland; after working in slavery for six years, he escaped back to Britain. But, soon after, “He convinced his superiors to let him return to Ireland in 432, not to seek revenge for injustice but to seek reconciliation and to spread his faith.” He ended up having a thirty-year ministry in Ireland, and he established churches and monastic communities across the country.

In the book, they attribute the following prayer to him:

‎”Christ be with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me, Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me.”

That quote definitely encourages me to take a second look at the way I live my life. Do others see Christ in me? What do I need to change to ensure that is the case? Those are questions that are definitely worth asking, and St. Patrick’s prayer is an ideal we should all be pursuing. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

P.S. I wholeheartedly recommend that book! The introduction makes an outstanding case for taking part of traditions seen as ‘liturgical’ in nature. It will definitely inspire more blog posts.

P.P.S. How did St. Patrick’s Day become a celebration of alcohol for so many? I’m sure there is an answer… it just doesn’t make much sense to me.